Pulling the Trigger

I can't believe that I am considering this.

I really think I'm going to do it, I really think I'm going to pull the trigger.

What am I talking about you ask? I am pulling the trigger on running a marathon and 12 races total next year (gasp!)

Next year I will be turning 45 and to celebrate that milestone, as well as not letting everything sag too far from its original location, I want to really get in shape.

So I have decided to run a race of some kind (5K, 10K I even found a 17.75K!!) every month next year, including a marathon before the end of 2011!

Can you believe the trigger I'm pulling??!!

I can't wait!!!!!!!

Keeping up with the Jones'

I am an independent woman. I tend not to follow the trends of what is in or what is out. I wear what I think looks good on me and I won’ let the whim of a total stranger dictate how I dress or what I wear.

I don’t follow other people’s advice. Ask my family. They think I am the most stubborn person in the world and I tend to think for myself….regardless of what other advice I have been given.

But with all of that expressed sincerely from my heart……I want to keep up with the Jones.

Not the Jones who are buying new houses and new cars. Or those that have on the latest fashions.

I want to keep up with the Athletic Jones!

One of my best friends of over 20 years hated exercising. She said she needed more “return” if she was going to work up a sweat! Her philosophy was, “I will eat OR drink….never both!” as her diet regime. Then she hit 40 and her metabolism changed. Now my non-athletic girl is participating in her first Triathlon!!! Ms. No Sweat started off running…winning her age group, amassing race t-shirts and getting hooked on that runners high I kept telling her about.

And a wonderful woman that I am attaching myself to (ha, ha!) is training for a marathon! I mean…do you know how daunting a task that is?? She ran 21 miles yesterday and today got on the court and kicked butt in tennis! Now THAT’s the type of keeping up with the Jones that I want to be a part of.

No….Ms. No Sweat can keep her Triathlon….but I would LOVE to do a Duathalon. And Ms. Marathon/Tennis Player/Blog Queen can keep her 26 miles…but I would love to compete in a 15k.

So yes, at the ripe old age of 44……I will be trying to keep up with the Jones!!!

Black has nothing to do with it

I am a strong woman…..

Look at the responsibilities I handle.

I am a strong woman…..

Look at what I have accomplished.

I am a strong woman…..

Look at what I have endured.

I am a strong woman…..

Look at what I have overcome.

I am a strong woman.

Clueless Casanova

I have learned that clueless men were once clueless little boys.

A few days ago I was volunteering at the elementary school and decided to wait for the kids so they could ride home with me instead of them riding the bus.

Well my 9 year old son came bouncing down the hall carrying only his jacket. When he noticed me he broke into a huge grin and started towards me. I noticed that he wasn’t pulling his rolling back pack behind him. When I asked him where it was he said “Oh, that girl is carrying it for me.” He didn't even know the girls name!!

First of all that raised a couple of questions in my eyes. Why was this girl carrying something for a boy? (Where was her self-esteem? Didn't she know that was inappropriate? Didn't her mom teach her that the BOY should be carrying HER stuff and not the other way around?) and second, why didn’t he realize that she liked him?!

This is a classic case of girls maturing faster than boys! My little Casanova was clueless to what constituted as flirting for a fourth grader.

When I tried to press him as to why was she pulling his backpack for him, he just kept responding that the girl wanted to carry his backpack for him.

Well…….lets make sure that’s all she wants!

Aren't we too old for this??

Remember in High school…the clicks that existed? The Jocks, The Rich Kids, The Cheerleaders, The Nerds, and the “other” category.

Well high school is long behind me but I have come to the realization that clicks still exist…..just in a different format.

In an office it’s the Executive Assistants versus the Secretaries.

In the military there are the Officers and the “enlisted”.

In life…there are the Haves and the Have Nots.

One group always thinks they are better than the other….causing irritation, misunderstandings and segregation. Neither group seeks to understand the other.

This cycle is perpetuated throughout society regardless of race, creed or location on this planet.

When are we going to realize that clicks never benefit anyone but exclude someone?

Tennis Kool-Aid

Hi my name is Yvette and I am a tennis-aholic. Your response: “Hi Yvette.”

I start off with this confession because they say admitting you have a problem is the first step to getting help.

Well, I don’t want any help...but thank you so much for the offer.

I have been playing tennis for 15 years and I can go play tennis for hours, then come home and watch it on TV for a few more hours! You see, tennis is a great sport. You can play it indoors or outdoors. You can play the game your entire life. And even if you can’t walk or use your legs you can play wheel chair tennis too!!

And with this obsession of mine it is only natural that one of my kids will join me in my weekly ritual of chasing a little yellow ball trying to make it do things it doesn’t want to!!

My oldest son, Jalen, has decided to join me in the tennis world!! He is on his first team and it is so cute to have this shared love.

He has a new tennis bag. His Coach gave him a tennis racket to use and he has the Rafael Nadal Nike head band. He also has a great serve and the drive to get better.

We have agreed when he is old enough that he and I will play on a mixed doubles team together!

I can’t wait!!

No corner for me

When I had originally started this blog, I wanted it to be geared around my special needs kids and their antics. Then it hit me…..you can’t put baby in a box!!

As time has gone by I realize that I don’t really look at my children as the proverbial “special needs child”. Yes, they are Autistic but that’s not the end all and be all of who they are.

I have always treated them just like any other kid. Yes, I do have accommodations that I have to incorporate occasionally. Chase can’t tolerate the smells of public bathrooms….so we go before we leave home. Jazmine doesn’t like crowds and loud noises….so we avoid being in the mall for too long so she won’t shut down.

But the list of things I want and expect from them is a lot longer than their accommodations. I expect respect for me as well as their siblings and all adults. I expect them to do their homework, get good grades in school, follow instructions given, eat their vegetables and clean their rooms. You know….typical, everyday kid stuff.

I am here to guide them into being productive, tax paying, and living on their own citizens.

The ones that occasionally invite mom over for a home cooked meal that mom didn’t have to prepare!

Stomping Grapes

I have two daughters and they are polar opposites.

Alexis is my frilly little diva who wants to be 27 when she is only seven. She likes high heeled shoes, make up, elaborate dresses and any type of jewelry. She has strong opinions about what she wants to wear and how she wants her hair styled. She is a typical girl’s girl.

Well Jazmine is not a diva. She prefers blue jeans and a t-shirt to a dress. She’s not a big fan of ear rings or any type of jewelry. She loves her Nike tennis shoes above all else, and she owns about four pair.

She likes her hair….but just on her head. Jaz is not big into hair styles and she could kind of care less what style it is in. If she could wear a ponytail for the rest of her life, I’d have to buy that girl a life time supply of hair bows!!

But they do share one commonality…….they both like shoes.

For Alexis the frillier the shoes the better. Alexis tends to like high heeled shoes. Three inch heels with bright colors are her favorites. And I will admit, at seven years old she can walk really well in them. I won’t buy three inch heels for her just yet but she is in my closet often and that doesn’t stop her from trying on shoes when we go shopping. Now they do make shoes for little girls with a heel and at every turn she is begs me for a pair.....I'm close to giving in!

Uh…..for Jazmine she's not so much into the girly shoe thing. Jaz is not very good at walking in high heels. The higher the heel the more it seems as if she is stomping grapes. But when we go shopping those are the shoes she tries on…..high heeled shoes. She just wants to try them on though….never wants to bring any home.
I think she tries them on to kind of bond with Alexis and I.

Jaz and I have figured out that if the heel is slightly lower she can walk in them a little bit better. Two inch heels are her ideal height. It makes her feel girly without the full fledged stomping grape walk.

Well my oldest baby, Jazmine, left for school in a pair of really cute, navy blue wedge heels on this morning......stomping grapes.

Maybe we should move to Italy.

Big Decisions

The kids and I were in Wal-Mart a few days ago and Jalen was battling a dilemma. He had earned a treat, and he wanted a toy, but he wasn’t sure exactly which toy….just a toy. His spending limit was $9.99 or lower.

Let me give you a little insight to the happenings in the house, my little people are REALLY into Pokemon. They watch the shows, they read the books….anything and everything they can get their hands on in regards to Pokemon, they hone right in on it. Well, his siblings were trying to pressure him into getting a Pokemon action figure that he kind of wanted but not really. They kept telling him how cool it would be to play with their Pokemon too, how they could stage their own battles….high pressure sales tactics!!

After a few minutes of pressure he just kind of walked away from them and came and gave me a hug with a dejected tilt to his shoulders. I could tell he was close to tears because he wouldn’t look at me when I asked him what was wrong.

See, my baby was torn on making the siblings happy at the expense of his own happiness. I stooped down to his level and told him that the decision was his and his alone and not to let anyone make him do something that he didn’t want to do.

He wiped his tears away, gave me a kiss and decided to put the $9.99 towards the debt he owes me for repairing his bicycle tire he destroyed a few months ago.

My baby is on his way to making awesome decisions in his life!!

Influence

Influence

What kind of influence do you have over your kids? Good, bad and indifferent?

In order to honestly answer this question we as parents need to take a really close look at ourselves and those around us. Influence is not just what you teach them to do, but it is also those intangible lessons they get when you think they aren’t looking, when you think they aren’t paying attention.

To expand on that thought a little further…..what influence does a child’s environment have on them as well? I’m not talking about the run of the mill stuff, school, TV, friends. What about their siblings?

My youngest son, Chase, is Autistic. His older brother, Jalen, is one of the smartest kids I know, but I could be biased (smile!). Everything that Jalen does….good, bad and indifferent; Chase will do the exact same thing.

When we found out that Chase had to wear glasses, the frames he selected look just like Jalen’s.

Jalen took a jacket to school today; because his class room is cold….so Chase went in the closet to get his winter coat!!

During the summer we were always on the go, the library, the tennis center, the swimming pool and the drive in. I had created my own little summer camp. On several of our outings Jalen would forget to bring his shoes. We are a very hippie kind of family and we don’t like shoes very much when it’s hot, and flip flops are the shoes we prefer in the summer. Well on those occasions Chase was paying close attention to what Jalen was doing…..so HE started forgetting his flip flops too!! See what I mean when I say being influenced by your environment!!

So Little Time

The kids are home from school. The quiet of the day has been ruptured by giggling, teasing of siblings and my daughter bouncing around the house singing her own made up song.

I’ve been calculating in my head how many years until they are in high school. The days of them wanting to sit in my lap will be gone because it won’t be cool. I wonder how much time I have before it won’t be cool to kiss me in greeting in front of their class mates.

How much time will I have before they are trying to bribe their way to using the car. “Mom, I promise to wash the car if you let me take it to a party Saturday night.” A line that only my youngest daughter can deliver, with that cute cherub smile of hers. She’s already negotiating her way into being taken to the mall, so using the car can’t be far behind!

What kinds of girls will my boys chose to be in a relationship with? Have I set a good example of the type of woman they should strive for? What about my girls? Do they have good male role models in their lives now to help them make good choices later in life? And if they don’t….what do I start doing NOW to help them step over the land mines that I have stepped on?

So much to think about. So much to plan for. For now I think I’m just going to enjoy the game of Uno I was challenged to play.

Best job, no pay

I have been unemployed for almost a year and this year has had tons of ups and downs but the time I have spent with my kids, I wouldn't trade for the world. Sitting in the movies a few days ago I was able to see that beautiful smile on my daughters face, feel my son snuggle against me and hear them giggle at the funny parts..... I felt a rush of love for the crumb snatchers! Had I been at work I might have missed this sweet moment.

While I don't have a 9-5, the hours I have spent bonding with my kids, sock fights, serious conversations about life and just sitting on the couch watching TV makes me realize I have more than a job can give me......but a paycheck would be nice!

The Duck Walk

I have a curiosity gene. Usually for most subjects I can keep that gene in check or search the web for answers, but there is something I am curious about that in my world, the answers can't be found and the Internet isn't very helpful.

Why do young men wear pants that are so big that they have to hold them when they walk? I mean do they try to look like ducks? And if so, when did walking like a duck become cute? When did the fashion Gods deem it acceptable to show your underwear?

Well we were down town yesterday and there were a group of young kids (I almost typed youngsters but didn't want to date myself too much!) sitting beside us. This one particular young man had on the requisite baggy pants, black boxers, and red bandanna on his head.

I'm curious to know if he is aware of the origin of the style he is wearing. That in prison it was a way of communicating that you were available sexually to the other inmates. That it meant easy access. I wondered if he realized how some people look and ultimately judge him based on his attire. I wondered how his parents feel about how he dresses and its perception as well.

I watched him for a little while and overheard some of his conversation. He seemed to be well spoken....but there was a lot of slang and cursing peppering his language. I was trying to gage how open I though he would be to me asking such personal questions.

He had some friend with him, but Red Bandanna Kid was sitting within arms reach of me. His friend left his side to wonder off to make a phone call. Finally,the opportunity presented itself.

I mustered the courage to ask him why. Why do you wear your pants so baggy and show your underwear? Why do you have to wear them so big that you have to hold them at the waist so they won't fall down?

His response..." 'cause it's fly and sh*t!"

Well....there you have it!

A Mother's Influence

I'm a mom....some people don't know that about me when they first meet me but when you look at my gray hair, the bags under my eyes and the 4 little people following me around calling me "Mom".....then people get that knowing look in their eyes that says 'Oh...that explains a lot!' (ha-ha!). But before I even considered being a mom there were women in my life that built a path for me that to this day I still follow. My step mother, Ronie, is left handed, and I do so many things that left handed people do I'm usually thought to be ambidextrous. She was a very strict disciplinarian and didn't play when it came to the expectations she had of my brother and me. Ms. Hines in room 9, she taught at Clifton Springs Elementary across from Gresham Park. She was so elegant in her high heels that as soon as I was able to get a pair (hence the several sprain ankles in my youth "borrowing" Ronie's heels while she was at work!) I was hooked! But there is one woman in particular that has had such an impact on my life. I was lucky enough during my senior year in high school to be approached by an organization called Youth for Understanding, they were an exchange program. And I was offered an opportunity to go overseas for a year to live with a family that I knew nothing about. I didn't know the language, I didn't know the customs....hell in the beginning I couldn't even tell you where on a globe it was located. But it was the best time of my life. I lived with an awesome family and to this day I still refer to my parents as Mamma and Pappa....even though I first arrived in 1984. Mamma was this tiny little grey haired elementary school teacher that spoke English with what sounded to me like a British accent. Cute and adorable are easy words that come to mind when describing her. She was a great helper in her community, helping immigrants that arrived that needed assistance, an avid church goer and loved to no end by everyone......I don't think she has a mean bone in her body. The most she did was to call you by your full name if you were in trouble.....Pappa's full name was called a lot!! She is graceful, athletic and one of the dearest people I know. I have tried all my life to be just like her....and I hope I have done her training justice. Recently I found out that she has inoperable lung cancer.....and this woman has never smoked a day in her life. She's dying and there is nothing they can do about it.....other than to make her comfortable. In the coming weeks I have to go and say goodbye and it is the hardest things I have ever had to do, I have never had anyone close to me die. I love this woman as if she gave birth to me.....she is my mother, and my children refer to her as "Mormor" which is grandmother in Swedish. I'm not sure what to say to her, not sure how to act. But she is classy and graceful so I know she will teach me what to say and how to act......just by being the wonderful person that she is. I hope I can embrace life and my ultimate death half as gracefully as she does. Jag alsker dig Mamma.