The Duck Walk

I have a curiosity gene. Usually for most subjects I can keep that gene in check or search the web for answers, but there is something I am curious about that in my world, the answers can't be found and the Internet isn't very helpful.

Why do young men wear pants that are so big that they have to hold them when they walk? I mean do they try to look like ducks? And if so, when did walking like a duck become cute? When did the fashion Gods deem it acceptable to show your underwear?

Well we were down town yesterday and there were a group of young kids (I almost typed youngsters but didn't want to date myself too much!) sitting beside us. This one particular young man had on the requisite baggy pants, black boxers, and red bandanna on his head.

I'm curious to know if he is aware of the origin of the style he is wearing. That in prison it was a way of communicating that you were available sexually to the other inmates. That it meant easy access. I wondered if he realized how some people look and ultimately judge him based on his attire. I wondered how his parents feel about how he dresses and its perception as well.

I watched him for a little while and overheard some of his conversation. He seemed to be well spoken....but there was a lot of slang and cursing peppering his language. I was trying to gage how open I though he would be to me asking such personal questions.

He had some friend with him, but Red Bandanna Kid was sitting within arms reach of me. His friend left his side to wonder off to make a phone call. Finally,the opportunity presented itself.

I mustered the courage to ask him why. Why do you wear your pants so baggy and show your underwear? Why do you have to wear them so big that you have to hold them at the waist so they won't fall down?

His response..." 'cause it's fly and sh*t!"

Well....there you have it!

A Mother's Influence

I'm a mom....some people don't know that about me when they first meet me but when you look at my gray hair, the bags under my eyes and the 4 little people following me around calling me "Mom".....then people get that knowing look in their eyes that says 'Oh...that explains a lot!' (ha-ha!). But before I even considered being a mom there were women in my life that built a path for me that to this day I still follow. My step mother, Ronie, is left handed, and I do so many things that left handed people do I'm usually thought to be ambidextrous. She was a very strict disciplinarian and didn't play when it came to the expectations she had of my brother and me. Ms. Hines in room 9, she taught at Clifton Springs Elementary across from Gresham Park. She was so elegant in her high heels that as soon as I was able to get a pair (hence the several sprain ankles in my youth "borrowing" Ronie's heels while she was at work!) I was hooked! But there is one woman in particular that has had such an impact on my life. I was lucky enough during my senior year in high school to be approached by an organization called Youth for Understanding, they were an exchange program. And I was offered an opportunity to go overseas for a year to live with a family that I knew nothing about. I didn't know the language, I didn't know the customs....hell in the beginning I couldn't even tell you where on a globe it was located. But it was the best time of my life. I lived with an awesome family and to this day I still refer to my parents as Mamma and Pappa....even though I first arrived in 1984. Mamma was this tiny little grey haired elementary school teacher that spoke English with what sounded to me like a British accent. Cute and adorable are easy words that come to mind when describing her. She was a great helper in her community, helping immigrants that arrived that needed assistance, an avid church goer and loved to no end by everyone......I don't think she has a mean bone in her body. The most she did was to call you by your full name if you were in trouble.....Pappa's full name was called a lot!! She is graceful, athletic and one of the dearest people I know. I have tried all my life to be just like her....and I hope I have done her training justice. Recently I found out that she has inoperable lung cancer.....and this woman has never smoked a day in her life. She's dying and there is nothing they can do about it.....other than to make her comfortable. In the coming weeks I have to go and say goodbye and it is the hardest things I have ever had to do, I have never had anyone close to me die. I love this woman as if she gave birth to me.....she is my mother, and my children refer to her as "Mormor" which is grandmother in Swedish. I'm not sure what to say to her, not sure how to act. But she is classy and graceful so I know she will teach me what to say and how to act......just by being the wonderful person that she is. I hope I can embrace life and my ultimate death half as gracefully as she does. Jag alsker dig Mamma.